I GET NERVOUS IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS, MOTHERFUCKER

(last time I had sex was in 2003, and I’m ashamed to it admit, but it wasn’t free)

from HBO’s Deadwood, season 1 episode 6. In this scene Al Swearengen bursts in on a whore that has recently been in the company of a man who couldn’t “get it up” (Swearengen’s words), who paid a dollar for her to kill time in his company so as not to arouse any suspicion to his sickness. His sickness is an epidemic of smallpox whose outbreak in the camp is imminent.

The whore, who lost her mother to the “fucking plague” (also Swearengen’s) coming out West, after which her father gave her up and left her to her own devices, fears she herself may be dying. She’s in a panic. Thankfully Al’s logic is stoic, as he interprets her sad sad story to mean she cannot become contagious again. and grants her to “stick to handjobs for a day or two” instead of french fucking or normal:

GET BACK TO WORK!